If I wasn't snatching people from the jaws of death with the fire service, I was making animations or videos, living in the woods counseling kids, digging ditches and a host of other odd jobs. All held to pass the time and pay the bills . When not at work it was boy scouts, lacrosse or some other child raising activity. Then there are all the family things - a Saturday get-together here, a day trip there, another child's birthday party. The chores around the house, paint this, rake that. The list goes on and on and on. Now I am not complaining! I love my family and it is wonderful that we are so close and I don't regret a moments time spent with them. I have been very fortunate in my work, each has had it's own challenges and rewards. But in my preoccupation with the day to day I've left something on the sidelines. I'm sure that most of this sounds familiar to you.
This something has actually never been far. It's is a part of me that often visits me in my dreams, reminding me that I am a spiritual being. That nothing is truly as it seems and to see the world as it truly is we need only need to stop look and listen.
I have always been on spiritual quest. I remember as a kid going into a book store and hanging out in the occult section. It was usually pretty small and filled with books about haunting and Edgar Cayce. Not always very enlightening but I wanted to know. Through the years I explored everything from Wicca to Jesus. One of my biggest realizations was that all spiritual paths have merit. Ok, well maybe not all, the path of "I hate everybody because they don't look, think, feel or believe as I do and are destined for some hell from which there is no escape path" may not have much going for it.
So. What's this trip about? It's about stopping the world. It's about listening to my breath. It's about listening to the inner voice that is so seldom heard through the noise of daily life. It's about refuge and trust in something greater than self but ultimately is self. I'll be writing from a Buddhist heart but seeing through the eyes of a spiritual pilgrim. A teacher once told me "if you don't connect with what I am telling you today all I ask is that you don't throw the teaching away. Put it on a shelf. You may want to examine it from time to time to see how it fits." My shelf is pretty cluttered and long overdue for some examination.
I am not sure where this blog is going to take us. By committing to this I am committing to opening my heart, my soul, my trust to you dear reader. A friend use to lament how each day we got up and put on our mask to face the world (I hope he sees this blog). Only showing the world a little piece of us, hiding our true selves behind this mask of conformity. All the while burying our true selves ever deeper. What we find to be true on the first day of this journey may not be as true on the last. We'll just have to take off the mask and see.
Oh, by the way. Hanging out with 4,000 monks will be a lot of fun so stay tuned. There is no laughter on the planet like the laughter of a Tibetan monk. Multiply that by 4,000!
Big Love to All!
Bilbo
p.s. i won't always have time for spell check or grammar. that should make this all the more fun!
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2 comments:
Very nicely put, Bill. I admire your willingness to open up in such a deeply personal way in this type of (what can be a) very public format. I have no doubt that this will be a transformative journey for you. I also am sure that this will be rubbing off on us, your fortunate readers, as well, though perhaps to a lesser extent. Or who knows? If we can take these bits of nourishment from your blog and sprinkle them on our own personal seeds of potential, who knows what may sprout?
Thanks, Bill.
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